My Baby Angel

I started this page to talk to others about the loss of a child.  I lost my son in January of 2005.  Tristen Lee is now my angel in heaven.  The loss of a child is something that many people have to go through but no one should ever have to go through.  Many things have helped me to get through each day since the loss of Tristen.  I would like to use this site to help others the ways that I have been helped. 

First let me tell you my story.... I was told that I would never be able to have children by doctors that know better than me but God has his own plan for us.  I found out that I was pregnant in June 2004.  I was so excited and in disbelief.  I went to the doctor and yep there it was the test showed positive.  I was so excited.  I had never been so happy in my life.  That all changed at 12 weeks pregnant.  I went to the doctor and they found something wrong.  They weren't sure exactly what was going on but they knew there was a problem.  I was told later that what was actually wrong was a condition that they thought was called Limb Body Wall Syndrome.  I had never heard of it but there were several signs that pointed to this.  I wouldn't believe it.  I did everything to try to prove doctors wrong.  

I saw so many specialist but the result was all the same.  Then on December 28,2004 I saw the last specialist and when he told me that it was definate that my son had Limb Body Wall and that the survival rate is 0% I lost all hope.  I begin to pray to God to please let me see his eyes.  My grandmother always told me that your eyes are the window to the soul and at that time I needed to see into Tristens soul. 

On January 7, 2005 at10 pm my water broke.  I rushed to the hospital I was terrified but my family and my husband and his family were right there by my side.  I knew the outcome so I was not ready to have him.   I was only 27 weeks pregnant and I wanted to hold on to him a little while longer.  Well that wasn't going to happen.  At 4:35 am on January 8 Tristen Lee Hale was born.  He was beautiful.  He weighed 3lbs 3oz and was 13in long.  I was told that Tristen would not be able to repond to me because he had no oxygen going to his brain because his lungs had not developed.  They asked me the hardest question I have ever had to answer in my life.  "How long do you want us to work on your son?"  That is a question no mother should ever have to answer.  But all I could say was I just want to see him then they could let him go.  As bad as I wanted him with me I didn't want him to suffer.  They brought him to me and laid him on my chest.  As soon as I touched him he opened his eyes and I touched his face and he scrunched his little nose up.  That is the only memory I have of my son.  Tristen passed away at 5:02 am. 

The most devastating thing any person can go through is losing a child.  That is why I started this blog I want to be able to help all the parents of little angels.